


You’re so Far Away (thog/Ashe)

by emerald_creeper



Category: Thrilling Intent (Web Series)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 01:13:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6779041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emerald_creeper/pseuds/emerald_creeper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thog is, for once, alone with his thoughts, and finds himself wanting for something, rather someone, to see again, at least one more time. (the italicized words in quotes is Ashe, everything else is strictly tThog)</p>
            </blockquote>





	You’re so Far Away (thog/Ashe)

An eerie silence blanketed Nine Shrines Bar. A silence that bore down on everyone that was still left, and a damning silence at that. A silence without the arguing of Thog and Ashe, without Markus cheering her up when she was angry at him, or at Kyr, and occasionally both of the best friends at the same time. She was only gone for a few days, but it felt like a century, Markus and the others tried to bring her back, but, it was too late, she was utterly gone, a shell of what once had been, a mere shell of what could have been in the near future, all of that, all of her, gone to them forever. She wouldn’t come back to them, her flesh, once to lively and warm, now pale and cold, lifeless. Her still body, closed, unblinking eyes, it almost looked peaceful, like she was sleeping, well almost. Aesling was gone, forever, never to be seen again.

Inside the bar, all was still save for a few small sounds of Gregor idly polishing his glaive to keep his mind on anything but the thoughts of the recent events that ravaged the bar’s remaining occupants, Markus and Kyr crying into each other’s arms, quite loudly, I might add, Inien seated at the bar, drinking away a few of her sorrows, and momentarily chasing off an inner, non-Markus demon or two with it, and, finally, Thog, as he sat slumped against a free wall staring with a certain disbelief at the bed he used to share with her, breathing in her particular scent, a bit of earth, the trees, the forests, all of that almost entirely masked by the salty tang of the oceans. He tried imprinting her exact scent into his mind, to keep her close to himself as much as he still could, since she was long gone and couldn’t come back whole again. The exact scent became fainter in his mind, ever so slowly, though, as Thog’s mind wandered, from the scent on the pillow on their occasionally shared bed, she slept with him, strictly sleeping, though, if she wasn’t quite ready to retreat back to her treehouse, or was coaxed inside by someone from in the bar, and was convinced into staying the entirety of a night inside

“I just can’t believe you’re fucking dead Ashe, I keep thinking that I’ll see you again soon, maybe sleep next to you again. Maybe if I go to bed, I’ll wake up. But I never does Aesling. It never fucking happens. I keep waking up and you still aren’t here, Aesling. Don’t know why I’m still so damn hopeful. Thinking you’ll come back.” Thog let out a heavy sigh, his voice lowering into an almost growl.

Thog’s eyes focused for a moment, his eyesight blurred with tears yet unshed. Tears that shouldn’t fall. Not if he could fucking help it. Thog blinked slowly, unseeingly, leaning back against the wall fully, staring at the ceiling blinking back all of those damned tears.

“We all miss you back down here, Ashe, especially me, though I can’t stand saying so to Markus, the fuckin’ sap is openly mourning and sobbing all over the place, but I really only fucking hate it because he shows what I’m bottling up, just like you did, well, before everything crashed down on top of you. That shit you bottled up, Aesling, it ate you alive, damnit! Because you didn’t talk to us, and now-” Thog’s voice broke off, he glared at the empty bed with rumpled, barely, it at all, slept-in sheets. “Haven’t slept in fucking days, Aesling, can’t blame you for it, though, but I’d be damned if I said I didn’t miss you.”

_“Thog… I’m so fucking sorry. I just tore everyone apart. I should’ve told you anyone of you, about it and what it has done to me. I just wish I could talk to you, tell you I’m alright still, and tell you that I really did trust you all, really. Hell, I would die a thousand times over again if it meant I could talk to anyone of you right now, if even to be here with you, and my- our friends.”_

“I know you can’t fucking hear me, but I feel better yelling at you like this. It feels better to yell at you than Gregor, Markus, Inien or Kyr.” Thog muttered.

_"The thing is though, I can, Thog, you just can’t hear me or see me anymore… I guess it would be better for this, though, I couldn’t imagine how the others feel, gods, I really fucked everyone up this time.”_

“But I know that it’ll never fucking happen, I’ll never get to touch you again, or sleep next to you again or yell at you and get an actual fucking reaction.” Thog said, almost reflexively reaching for the flask on his hip, well, at least where it should have been. “Ever since Gregor had confiscated all of the damn booze I had on me and said ‘I know what you’re going through, it’s happened to me twice before, and drinking the pain away won’t help you at all, Thog.’ I know the damn kid’s just trying to help us out, but I really wish I had my damn whiskey right about now.” Thog shook his head ruefully, mentally cursing Gregor and his damned overly good nature.

_“Oh Thog, you don’t ever change, do you?”_

Thog laughed bitterly in spite of himself. “I must look like a fucking lunatic, huh, Aesling? Just yelling at this bed and trying not to let any tears fall. Try not to look weak in front of my _remaining_ employees, Aesling! Damn you.” He growled, taking out the pocket watch he had taken off of her body as soon as she had become cold. He didn’t quite know why he kept it, as a memento maybe? Hell, it was his in the first place, but really, what use it’s a good luck charm if it didn’t bring much luck to the person who was given it, anyway?

_“Thog, I can’t say enough that I am so fucking sorry. Gods, you’re a mess, and it is my very own damned fault.”_

“Hell, Ashe if you were here, you’d tell me to get over myself and stop this wishful thinking, but the fucking thing is, you can’t!” Thog near-roared in agony. He contemplated getting off of his sorry ass and fining his flask even if he had to wrench the damned thing out of Gregor’s cold, dead hands, but the tears swimming in his bloodshot eyes made him think better of his near decision

_“I would happily be an empty shell of a human being for a month, even a year, especially if it meant I didn’t have to see you like this Thog.”_

“I guess I just can’t help but wish you weren’t so damn far away from me, Aesling, I only want to see you again. Just once, when I can yell at you for being an asshole for leaving me here with the idiots that didn’t die. Just come back to us Ashe, we all miss you here.” Thog let out a heavy sigh and slumped farther onto the wall, letting just a select few of the tears roll freely down his cheeks, silently praying to the only Gods he could stand to believe in for even a moment that nobody would walk in on him and see him, their fucking boss, crying his eyes out and yelling at nothing at all, reaching for anything, anyone to make him feel less torn up inside. That feeling, the feeling of being whole, might just be something that doesn’t lie in the bottom of a bottle, not that anything else does, in any reality.

_“Oh, Thog, I wish you could see me right now or at least hear me, just so you could see and hear me say that I won’t ever be leaving you, especially if I can help it. And if I can’t help it, I’ll try my damnedest to win and get my way. I’m not as far as you think I am. I just hope you can eventually understand that and come to terms with the truth that I can’t come back, even if you and I fight as hard as we can for each other. I think I’m going to have to do the same thing as you will, Thog. We are stuck together even if we are so godsdamned far away from each other.”_


End file.
